January 7, 2004

Whoa! Hey,fnufinumphpeh..peh..peh...bleh!!

Sorry 'bout that. The upper plate's slipping again. Sam's Favorite fixative. Never again.

Anyways...Hey, we're back! The endless stream of email and instant messages finally hit home and jolted us out of the somnambulistic state of affairs our life had become over the past two (yes, count 'em, two!) years. Thanks muchly to the many, many, MANY of you who've persistantly pestered us - for doing precisely that!

We don't wish to sound disingenuous, but being famously infamous, frankly, isn't all its cracked up to be. Oh sure it's INTERESTING being in the "eye of the storm" so to speak, but after awhile the endless pursuit by "the media" wears on one, terribly! In addition, there's the never ending "pressure" to one-up oneself for the sake of remaining a "player" in the game of "top ten" list placement. The resultant overuse of "quotation" marks, in and of itself, becomes mind-numbingly "annoying" as well. But what can "one" do? "One" becomes nothing more than a creation of the very "audience" whose favor "one" wishes to "garner". Life becomes a "blur", recall is limited to a very few "touchstones". The nights at "Neverland" - no clue as to what was going on right under our intact nose! Fleeting moments in front of the night-vision video camera with "Paris" - who thought "THOSE" would every find the light of day?? A hasty, short-lived marriage (sans honeymoon) in "Vegas". The frantic minutes spent stuck inside the game machine whilst "Daddy" fonebones his g/f from the payphone at Piggly Wiggly....

Yikes. Sam's Favorite cough suppressant. Never again.

Actually it has been a very busy two years for us. What with the 8 (or 9 - can't keep track anymore) relocations keeping us one step ahead of rabid bill collectors, pissed off ex-roomates and social service agencies, it's been hard for us to sit still long enough to update this rather dusty but still highly-trafficed (hit counts somewhere in the trillions now - can't keep track anymore) repository of self-important nonsense. We're also pouring ourself into our new career (can't be specific - changes almost daily, depending on where the temporary agency sends us) and YES our lawsuit over the "McGriddle Incident" is still ongoing and we were delighted to see that it had caused stock values across the board to plummet until recently! (ref: www.obsessedwithaol.net)

Now that the holiday season is over, we anticipate fewer assignments and, hence, our career path growth may stagnate a trifle. In addition our lawsuit, while ongoing and definitely NOT at the bottom of a pile of similarly specious legal claims of monetary damage on some two-bit shyster's desk, probably won't be producing anything of a life-supporting nature for a long time to come. So we're reverting to what we know best. Small time con jobs revolving around a fake online community of seasoned and knowlegable e-veterans (i.e. dexterous one-handed typists with persistant cases of self-inflicted stinkfinger). And, as usual, we're looking for energetic sucke...er...volunteers to assist us in our goal of shaking dow...er...seeking justice on behalf of stinkfingered victims of corporate greed far and wide...and we do mean wide.

So, please contact us at the earliest available opportunity. Cuz if we have to start sleeping with beaners again for the child support just to get by, it's going to get really ugly around here.

Later...

The Gerbil

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Passed Gerbil's can be found here. Remember to wash your hands before returning to work.

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